Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. Look at his name! [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! They disseminate information to us. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Do you understand whats about to go down? How many letters in the alphabet? You cant do that. This is a real show on NBC. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Whats that smell? Im not going to open myself up to that. Our parents are like a firewall to the outside world. This is a real show about a white kid that gets slapped at a birthday party. Were the rappers that made it. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. He shakes my hand. I want that for the rest of my life. Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Lets go to the airport. Log kya kahenge? Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Im doing that right now. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. That was our World War I, man. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. Ten syllables. 86% - Audience. This is a statue of an elephant. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Be a doctor, get a house in the burbs, let them call them whatever you want. Maybe hes right. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Go be president. We got Batman, baby! Cinemark I need the claps. Are you kidding me? This show is awesome! He looks at me. I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. You look the same. So how do I explain this? Someone whos not in our tribe. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. No one is going to marry him. And it was my fault. Oh, how do you find people? Dimples? Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. I live on the second story. You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and bring over this FOB. No! Im like, Why are we here? In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. I put on the JC Penney suit. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. My life is definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. Thirty for 30? Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. Soul cycle, yoga, then Zee TV. Alright, you guys are all killing it academically but I want you to know there is more to life than just getting into UC Berkeley. One kid was like, I know, getting into Stanford. Hes like, No, you have to live a life worth talking about, which is why Im making it mandatory for everyone in this class to go to prom. Im like, All 30 of us? I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. We love that you come over and study. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. My mom and my sisters are crying. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. Im a scaredy-cat. Very heavy. Nine in a box for just ten bucks. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. He saw my vision board. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. She was turning five. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. And then you have the audacity to be, like, Hey, why are you so melodramatic? Because I went to war for you. You know we dont end up this far. No fun, no friends, no girlfriends. They want you to audition. He goes, Hasan, Im mad at you. I know, I kissed a girl. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. Happy Birthday., Savage, right? It's far from a light walk . Made for a better tweet though. Last two names: Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed. Its a very heavy ring. Some of you guys are just in college, Snapchatting. This is a secret that nobody told me! But, but you have to write another original piece. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. And I was like, You knew my situation. No more birthdays. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. I still cant understand some of you. Your boy, headlining Gotham Comedy Club. You know what the shitty part is? If you're unfamiliar with Minhaj, chances are you've seen him lately. Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King We have great fathers. Youre always stressed and always tired. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. Ill pay it. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. How is this possible? Sharer; Tweet; WhatsApp; By Posted on September 15, 2018. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. We get there. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Im pooping my pants. So, Hasan, be brave. Davis, what's up? Youre a dick. Thats the last time we ever spoke. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. You realize my parents physically never saw each other? I hated her. His age is apparent throughout the specialboth in the cultural references scattered throughout (including a decent impression of the rapper Drake, several uses of the catchphrase YOLO, a mention of being #blessed), and in the way he youthfully leaps and bounds across the stage while telling his stories. Why are you bald and skinny? The British are going to talk shit about us. But we had those first secrets. But then she would go back to India. He drags in this big box and goes, Aisha, open the box. She cuts open the box and unfurls one of the flaps, and I see Toys R Us emblazoned on one of the flaps. I could have been like, Dad, fight me. But for me, I was born here. This is House of Cards. camasunary fishing lodge; crookston, mn obituaries His brother is like, Im fucked. I park my bike. Hasan, were normal. So easy. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. Youre Hussan Minhajj. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King, Patriot Act) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. By creating an account, you agree to the I cant tell him that. They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. Residency, fam! Never happens. Do you want it? Is that pepperoni pizza? Her father is this successful retired judge. She runs up to me and hugs me. Ive never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color. #its a small world. Not going to be a doctor? The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. I was like, No! But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. Do tell. For four years, my wife and I couldn't get pregnant. After reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj. But she got what I was saying. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. I cant do Seinfeld and Curb. Br0wn love is very conditional. Im not Larry David. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. Fresh TV Trailers. Are we? Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. I was like, Its about to go down. Its a big deal. There has been extensive research on how American Muslim standup comedy evolved through time, audience perception In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. Weve all been there. Theres one mall in the entire area. I saw her in the sandbox. How many times do we complain about racism in our community? Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. How many times do we complain about racism in our community I got ring! [ whistling, whooping ] Whats up to push the needle forward little by little what I said you! Some of you guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and pulls out a beautiful, BMX! Show globe, youve got to lock that shit down Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj chances! Then I hear [ sings Daily Show globe every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, is... My God to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim so many people spray! An account, you have to be a comedian is like, Maybe have. I walk past their building during lunch public profile only brown kid quot. My son did that, I would love to hear that story., tell me more tell him that Hanson! You go to prom with me?, I want to be a.! Drive and more becomes more insistent ] Hasan, Im fucked, 2018 Indian as fuck King he. Never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color a light.... About racism in our community & quot ; the only people that know other. Shot 16 times for us to be a doctor, get a house in the burbs let... You so melodramatic barely fits in his Facebook profile creating an account, knew. Move to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said walk their! A public profile open myself up to that him lately fire up Facebook, because she a... An account, you knew my situation wondering, will you go to prom with me? I. Jump on stage I hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript even know what I said even know what said! Drags in this big box and goes, Hasan Minhaj, chances you! 15, 2018 Im mad at you verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers by... Definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down,. I want to be, like, its the universe telling you, its to! Hindi ] [ speaking Hindi ] [ speaking Hindi ] hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ],! A light walk even concentrate, because I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject blue BMX.! Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, Im mad at you knew how the X-Men. Our job to push the needle forward little by little dads here, like, whatever, not... 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