I am just getting to understand myself and my actions diverse according to the situation I am in . Just now I saw a comment by an OSDD system describing something similar to the above as a 'non-possessive switch' and would like to know if that's a common way of describing it. I have experiences like this when the one who normally "drives" gets booted out of the driver's seat when another one of us has such overwhelming emotions that they take over. The belief that DID treatment is harmful to patients. The same cannot be said for OSDD. Answer - An OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder) system is a group of alters, formed by repeated childhood trauma from ages 1-12 usually. Your healing journey is very much appreciated and is very encouraging! It provides a coded signal which, when interrupted due to a safety event, signals the machine to shut down. There would be no use for the brain to develop the disorders if the symptoms appeared later as it wouldnt be protecting itself in the moment, which is the whole purpose of the disorder. its not unheard of for a host to think theyre the only one to ever front when in reality they might actually front less than the others, just because they dont remember not fronting. There are 4 types of OSDD, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is similar to DID. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. A mere speck floating in an ocean of pain, sinking deeper and deeper into the waters, only a bare existence was possible. Non-switching systems, or partial DID as it's called in the ICD, are systems who have an alter always remain in front, and other alters can "only" exert passive influence and co-fronting. The therapist in the zoom group asked a few probing questions; she concluded I had full blown DID, not DDNOS as I had believed. But at the end of the day they are just like you. But MANY trauma survivors have these parts, and recognizing them is key to getting better. Every waking moment, a moment of pain, pain unending, but no idea why? Press J to jump to the feed. If two alters choose to switch with one another, they usually have some degree of co-consciousness with each other and could both choose to remain at front, or actively aware of the outside world, after the switch. They are in no way associated with ddlg/clg/cgl-re. They can have black-outs, but it does not severely impact their lives. A journey starts, one of untold emotional pain and memories horrible beyond belief. But the most violent and hateful ones could only front enough to assist in/enact self harm or such things. However, this is not our typical experience as an OSDD system. In later years, I hid in an invisible soundproof egg. I post information, resources, positivity, recovery, and thoughts on dissociation and trauma recovery. I hope I did not break any rules above! Generally Switches are grouped into three categories; consensual, forced and triggered. I agree DID in its entirety gets more attention as complete fragmentation caused by trauma . These cookies do not store any personal information. The experience of someone with OSDD may be fewer of these extremes, without the deep lows of trauma states of being, but also without the extreme competency of some of the avoidance-based adult parts of a DID system. Required fields are marked *. I have just started my second reading of Janina Fishers book Healing the Shattered Selves of Trauma Survivors In it she explains how these shards of personality (my name for them) come to be as survival machines to help us get by against emotionally overwhelming situations. How frustrating it must feel that even in the community of people who dont fit into DID, you still dont fit in! This author does not have any more posts. You might find that sometimes you cant remember important information about yourself or about those closest to you. A subtype of consensual switches are planned switches that were agreed upon ahead of time. These alters protect the main identity from awareness of trauma. (Disclaimer: I'm not a professional; please do not ask me for medical advice! Above all, all forms of dissociation need to be validated for their unique contribution to survival. Loved and feeling safe is possible now, if only I can reach out and accept it, A severe case of OSDD, too many EPs to count and keep track of, somewhere between 50 and 100. When there is often a strong emphasis on the dissociative parts of the personality, people with OSDD can feel unheard and unseen, and so I feel that it is very important to validate the reality of the experience of people with the OSDD label. These are all important things to figure out off the bat, and its a lot easier to both set and follow these rules when you dont have to worry about memory barriers preventing people from knowing them. Being that therapy techniques never work with extreme stress, I was hoping to learn a few new things to try. Not a life others would want though. People with OSDD may for example have had some good enough attachment experiences, or other mitigating factors. It would cause misunderstandings as I would present myself as very angry and fearless, laughing at everything and at another moment I would be extremely fearful and could not handle anything that would stir up trauma again. It's actually really sinister because you can mistake it for different moods or something, but it changes much more than just mood. The belief that DID is iatrogenic rather than trauma-based. so, i've had alters since the end of last year. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. What puts the last D in DID is when systems are suffering from being unable to manage their identities, caused by severe - yet potentially unknown - issues that have not necessarily been identified/addressed/resolved. Its quite.a mess to get to grips with .. You can read that article by clicking here. (DNI: If you have been blocked, please do not interact. According to the American Psychological Association, the predominant feature of OSDD is: presentations in which symptoms characteristic of a dissociative disorder that cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning predominate, but do not meet the full criteria for any of the disorders in the dissociative disorder class. Dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) is a catch-all category for dissociative disorders that do not fall into other groups. The remaining cases rarely manifest detectable identities, except when these patients are in crisis. I certainly dont make a distinction and try to ensure that I am addressing the whole range of symptoms and difficulties in living with a dissociative disorder, rather than focusing either exclusively or predominantly on parts. And as the OSDD appellation is so often dropped in favour of DID due not least to its incredibly cumbersome name, which hardly rolls off the tongue! We discussed the results but not the diagnosis (I know its mostly for insurance anyway, but I like to do research so I like to know whats going on). This last point is incredibly important as if a dissociative disorder is misdiagnosed as being bipolar or psychosis, treatment with antipsychotics may quickly make things worse and significantly delay recovery. Your early system days should be spent getting used to the idea of having other people in your head and getting to know said people. For example, ducks at the pond could be a trigger for a 7 year old alter to push their way to front, or someone calling who is a special friend for one alter in particular might trigger that alter to switch out. And even if it is there is likely a trauma based reason. I went insane as a 6 year old male child. People with DDNOS were reported to have a 13% reduction in hippocampal volume compared to healthy controls, whereas people with DID showed a reduction in the region of 25% (Ehling, Nijenhuis & Krikke, 2003). Very, very rarely does it feel like somebody else is controlling my body while I watch. It is all very strange. Switching refers to one Alter or Part taking control of the body from another Part. Its important to know that many of these symptoms can overlap with other mental disorders. I was looking for more basic information than they could provide when I came across Conversations with Carolyn Spring Podcast; that was the first time someone spoke my language- I could relate so much and finally was able to put some of the pieces together of what therapy was trying to explain and I really appreciated the gems of wisdom that helped with a few shortcuts in my healing journey; I still remember to make space for the pain of the past along with the joy of the moment! They emerged as fairly cognitively undeveloped (lacking pre-existing patterns of cognition) and made an active choice to become persecutors very early into their development because they wanted to make me into a better person, and thought that would be an effective way to do it. Highly recommend reading. One of our systems little quirks is that our childhood is just *poof* gone. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. You might feel confused or distressed that your physical body does not reflect how you feel you should look. I can tell the narrative of parts of each of their stories, but I dont have a sense that their stories are MY stories. However it is to escape from my painful self (which may make it a form of dissociation?) It all seems very muddled. Welcome to r/OSDD, a community for those affected by otherwise specified dissociative disorder. The only other.tine I had something like that happen was when I was really young and knna camping trip and kept.auddenky.thinking I was at home. Denying and downplaying symptoms as much as possible is common. You might sometimes experience heightened or muted visual/auditory distortions with no medical cause, such as blurry vision, muffled sounds, or tunnel vision. I am aware of some of their stories because they send me nightmares and occasionally send flashbacks if a person or circumstance is familiar to one of them. However, some systems dont fit into either of these boxes! It is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. A common thought we had at the time was We dont black out or lose time, so surely we arent switching, which means this must be fake, which was incorrect for many reasons. Rather, this description is based on the literature that pre-dates the body of research on dissociative disorders since the publication of DSM-III. The DSMs criteria of alters, amnesia, and distress/impairment arent meant to be taken at the surface level. There might be times where your body seems to be moving and speaking on its own because another alter is controlling it. Other times, there is no dissociation or headache but just a feeling that internally I'm not living the right the life and that it should be something else. Logan once explained this pretty well: yeah that's non-possessive switching! Certainly OSDD is supposed to be a residual category to mop up the few cases of dissociative disorders that do not meet the mainstream criteria. Our daily life is hardly effected by large memory gaps or losing time, only a hard time retaining tidbits of information, as we dont fully switch either (for some reason or another, we havent found out why). These are very simple descriptors for a spectrum of experiences that are the hallmarks of the disorders. at one end of the scale is one self, on the other end is another, and I am in the middle. But there are a range of difficulties in gaining a diagnosis at all, not least the fact that very few NHS staff are trained to spot dissociative symptoms, let alone administer the gold standard, the SCID-D assessment tool. I can just stare and stare at my watch and I know I should be able to figure it out but I just cant. no such thing as an outlier when everyone is so different lol. As you can imagine, OSDD-1, in either forms, is difficult to spot and can be a struggle to diagnose. I began therapy a little over two years ago and was struggling to understand the basics. Switches can be consensual, forced, or triggered. I keep telling my therapist im that and no one cares and just keep my diagnosis of DID, its actually partial DID not osdd-1b, osdd-1b is no switch amnesia. However, this is often little comfort to people with OSDD, as I shall discuss later. These intrusions may vary in strength and influence and may result in the fronting alter taking actions or voicing opinions that they can't explain or account for. (amnesia between parts). Robert Oxnam on relating his experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly MPD), from A Fractured Mind: My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder(pp.4-5), (If you like this post then you might like this other one as well! ), Hello, I am Sunflower. What will whole be like? I know that the bibliography says these identities must be caused from severe issues to be considered DID, but could it be that all people have many voices/identities that appear and/or disappear throughout their lifetime (in other words, is having a singular internal monologue an exception, similar to those who have no internal monologue)? You might find that you sometimes forget well-learned skills, such as driving or a favorite hobby. Reading this has reassured me that even though my system and selves are not quite as separate as those with DID (although one is) they are still valid. Communication may also be clearer between parts in OSDD-1b systems. Horrible beyond belief, yet necessary. This can involve several alters fronting over the course of an hour or even within a few minutes! I often describe it like I am on a system. Thank you. You should look into persecutor alters and the reasons they might exist. Thank you though. Better suicide than being whole. Switching is often prompted by stress in the individual's life, or by the person's own intrapsychic conflict, such as vague memories of abuse. it's when "you" just sort of "become" someone else, but you still feel like yourself. DID has shown me very tangibly the ways people change significantly internally and externally though, as this is no longer the case and is not a problem nor a source of worry for us now. I feel like the symptoms of these disorders are often misunderstood. More common is amnesia for past trauma, although parts often seem to have memory for this. I literally switch between stereotypes sometimes, shallow charicatures (no identity take-over) of other people or animals, without amnesia. Below, Ive written up a non-exhaustive list of common symptoms in DID/OSDD. My final tip is to know that things will be okay. Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders: Fifth Edition, Treating Trauma-related Dissociation: A Practical, Integrated Approach, Understanding and Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: A Relational Approach, The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook, A Fractured Mind: My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder. I hope one day your plurality is something that you can take pride in. Passive influence can be described as intrusions from alters that are not currently prominent in the mind or using the body. Some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts, and other individuals with OSDD-1 have highly distinct parts but rarely or never switch between . System discovery can be scary, its probably thrown your life completely off-balance for the moment, but know that it gets easier. Some indicators that a switch may be about to occur include the following: feeling "spacey", depersonalized, or derealized; blurred vision; feeling distanced or slowed down; feeling an alter's presence; or feeling like time is beginning to jump (indicating minor episodes of time loss). There might be alters who still carry onto memories, thoughts, feelings, or behaviors related to past trauma. You might lose a lot of details or misremember the important bits. Sometimes, it might feel like you are numbing out pain or sensations. <3. like, don't get me wrong, i get where you're trying to come from, but understanding the reasons for their abuse isn't really something i get the chance to center when i have no cognitive or emotional space to process their actions. Like i am in communities and start taking Part in conversations even the., recovery, and recognizing them is key to getting better information about yourself about. 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